Time to forget about the past
by Lexie Grey
Summary: Addison's trying to go on with her life after Mark's rejection and all the stuff with her family, Alex is trying to forget Izzie and start over. A little help from A beautiful lie - 30 seconds to mars. Only few chapters are set in LA. I own nothing.
1. Chapter 1

_Lie awake in bed at night_

_And think about your life_

_Do you want to be different?_

_Try to let go of the truth_

_The battle of your youth_

'_Cause this is just a game_

_It's a beautiful lie_

_It's a perfect denial_

_Such a beautiful lie to believe in_

_So beautiful, beautiful it makes me._

_It's time to forget about the past_

_To wash away what happened last_

_Hide behind an empty face_

_Don't ask too much, just say_

'_Cause this is just a game_

_It's a beautiful lie_

_It's the perfect denial_

_Such a beautiful lie to believe in_

_So beautiful, beautiful makes me._

_Everyone's looking at me_

_I'm running around in circles, baby_

_A quiet desperation's building higher _

_I've got to remember this is just a game._

**Los Angeles.**

It's early in the morning and you are already up. It has been a while since you had a good night sleep. Before your mother landed with her lesbian secret and put another mess in your already messed life. You heard someone knocking on your door, but the only thing that you want to do right now is stay curled up in your bed, staring at the ocean and wait. Waiting for something. Maybe waiting for someone. But honestly…are you so eager to open your heart to another man that probably is going to break it again? After Derek, Mark, Karev, Kevin, Noah and then again Mark? So, instead, you close your eyes and wait for the knock on your door to be over.

**Seattle.**

"Wait..why are you packing?" Without taking your eyes off your stuff, you reply to her. "I can't stay here any longer Mer." You shrugged like you don't care to leave everything, your home, your job, your friends..No wait, right, Izzie's friends. Because when you need them to be by your side, they stood up for your fugitive wife..so, you're not leaving them.

"Where are you going?" This time you looked at her, trying to find the answer. "I don't know. Maybe I'll go back in Iowa. I just don't want to stay here in Seattle and work at that freaking hospital anymore." And with that Meredith Grey left your room without looking back. You don't know that she did the same with Izzie.

**Los Angeles.**

"I'm coming." you shouted while you stood up, thinking that it was Sam that was knocking like a crazy at your door. "You're…not Sam.." you slowly said the instant after you opened the door. "I don't even know who this dude is." He replied to you in that voice that only in that moment you realized how much you missed. "Can..I come in?" Alex asked. Hands in his pocket, a bag at his foot. "Sure..Sorry for my…uhm clothes.." you stammered awkwardly wearing nothing more than a Yale t-shirt and a pair of boy shorts. "You look good." You rolled your eyes at his words. "Good. I mean..Thank you..I mean…what are you doing here?"

With a sigh he closed the door behind his back. "I should have called before, I know. I..left. And I didn't know where to go..so I booked the first fly that I saw..and..you left, right? You ran away from Seattle, you..when you came back you looked happy..I thought..that I could do the same. Be happy I mean."

It was the first time since you knew him that you heard him talk that much. So you took his bag and, with a shy smile, you went to the kitchen. You saw that he was broken just like you were. "Hungry?" you asked him, while he was standing near the table. "Not really." He shook his head. "I called your office or whatever it is..they told me where you're living." It was like he needed to gave you this information. "Do you need something, Karev?" It was good saw him again but you don't know what to do with him. "Can I stay here?" was his reply. "For a little. The time to put everything behind my back." Damn, you thought, that puppy dog eyes. You sighed. "I can't pay an hotel room. But..I can cook. I can clean your house while you're working. I'm a good roommate. And, you know, when you have…company I can go out for a 15 minutes walk…" And that cocky smirk of his. The right thing to do was slap him hard in the face for his words, but instead you sighed again. "So? Can I? Stay here, I mean." Maybe he read the answer in your eyes, because he changed the look on his face.

***

**What do you think? She'll let him stay or not?**

**And should I keep writing it?**

**Review and let me know!**


	2. Chapter 2

After have watched Addison walking to the bathroom for a quick shower before going to work, Alex was looking for something to eat. A bowl of cereals in one hand and a spoon in the other, he started to eat when he heard the front door open. "Sorry I didn't know that Addison was with someone…" that dude began to apologize to him. And Alex was asking himself if he has to say something. Instead he continued to eating. "So.." he cleared his voice looking everywhere, maybe looking for Addison. "She's upstairs." Alex spoke before Sam could ask where she was. "I'm going to tell her that you're here." Wait a minute, he thought. Why he was going to tell her that this guy was waiting for her? The only answer that came up to his mind was that he didn't know this guy and their relationship at all…Yeah, it was the right answer.

"Karev what are you doing?" she yelled at him and Alex realized that she was wearing only a pair of panties and a bra…but most important he realized that he didn't knock on her door before open it. "It's not that I didn't see that before." He said in a cocky and annoying way, eating another spoon of cereals. "Out of my room, now." Addison ordered to him, in that Satan way that, generally aroused him. So, he cleared his voice, still looking at her. It was simple being the Karev ass. Not because he wasn't thankful to her for let him stay in her house, but because if Addison was annoyed by him she wasn't going to ask him questions and seriously he didn't want to talk about all that crappy stuff that was going on in his life. "You're not going to ask me why I am here?" Alex smirked resting his back against the wall. But she simply sighed heavily. Maybe let him stay wasn't the smartest thing to do. She was going through a lot of crap in that period that maybe Karev was the last person that could make her feel a little better. But when she heard what happened to him the last time that she was at Seattle Grace and after have saw how broken he was before… "Why are you here, Karev?" She asked trying to ignore his stare. "A guy is waiting for you downstairs." Alex answered with his mouth full of food. But she couldn't understand his tone. He was already gone.

"You're not going to tell me who that guy was?" Sam asked in a whisper while he and Addison were stepping out from the elevator at the Oceanic Wellness Group. "It's an old friend, nothing more." Addison shrugged heading to her office with Sam behind her. They entered the office, Addison was trying so hard to avoid every Sam's question. Actually he was babbling something like "He's not that old…At least 30 years old…" Addison raised her hands to make him stop talking. "Calm down, Sam. We worked together while I was in Seattle." She began to explain, sitting on her couch. "And now he's there because he needs a place to stay for a little. He's a friend who needs help." Sam took a seat as well, looking straight at her.. "Sloan was an old friends who needed help too..Look how it turned out well for you." Before he realized what he said it was too late. Addison looked away from him with watery eyes. But that wasn't the place and the time to break down. She sighed and stayed in silence. "I'm being overprotective, I know that. But we're good friends…and after the kisses.." The kisses! Addison wasn't listen anymore to what Sam was talking, instead she focused on the kissing thing. That was good because Sam changed the subject of his thoughts and she wasn't asking to herself why Alex Karev was at her house. And why she let him stay.

"Okay…"Addison began after some minutes of silence between her and Sam. "Maybe we kissed when we were upset. It's like a comfort thing." Sam looked at her, nodding. "Yeah we're lonely. Lonely neighbors."  
"Yes!" she agreed with him. "No.." and then she changed her mind.. "That kiss was…really hot.." and then there was an awkward silence again. Until.. "Do you wanna keep kissing?" Addison looked at him. Eyebrows raised like she was listen to something unreal. "See where it goes.." Sam was trying to convince her and with the look that she had on her face…He thought that she was thinking the same. "Do you?" was her reply. She wanted to be sure before doing something really really stupid. Because hey..they were Sam and Addison. They know each other since college…but more important he was married with her best friend. But she didn't really want to think about this stuff now. Now she only wanted to forget anything and feel something. Really feel something. The only answer that he gave to her was going to the door and close it. So she stood up as well. "Oh no no, I'm having a déjà vù. I can't do this in my office again. No, no, it's a bad idea." She started rambling, the last thing that she needed to do right now was have sex with Sam in her office like she had with Mark. Because Sam was right. Look at how it turned out well for her that situation. "Why?" he asked standing really close to her. "Because I think..we're not thinking… about.." but it was hard to think, speak or whatever when he was so close to her. Their eyes were on their lips in this moment. "Naomi…" she sighed again going more near to his lips. "Who care about Naomi?I'm over Naomi." He stopped her rambling again in a rough and low voice and only for a brief moment she thought that was the wrong rough voice. That she preferred to hear another rough voice instead. The only words that she was able to say were "Naomi…best friend ex husband…" but in this moment their lips were so close, her hands on his shoulders. She was leaning more forward for the kiss and…someone knocked at the door. Or well..Sheldon knocked at the door. "Do you know where Sam…Oh there you are!" Sheldon said after Addison opened the door. "Hey you found me." Sam gave him the best polite smile that he could in that moment and, with a glance to Addison, he left the office with Sheldon. And with an heavy sigh she took her things and started to work. If thinking about Karev in her house could be called work.

Alex was laying on the couch. His eyes fixed to the ceiling and he was asking to himself if going to Los Angeles was a good thing. But then he remembered from what he was running away and he decided that stay at Montgomery's house was maybe a stupid thing, but not stupid like be Izzie's bitch. Not stupid like love someone who treated him that bad. It's also true that he lied a lot to Addison. In the past and even now when he said to her that he wasn't really in love with Izzie and he did the mistake to stay by her side and let her treated him like crap. Well, he didn't tell to Addison that last line. And that was the truth. But he wasn't ready to talk about his marriage. He scratched his face and when he was going to stood up, he heard the front door open and Addison's laugh outside. And then that guy voice. Again. So he changed his mind and remained still on the couch, not really ready to saw someone in an happy relationship, because, he thought, those two were together. And that was something strange to him.. He heard the gossip about Addison and Sloan and Los Angeles.

"Maya is with Nai, if you want to have dinner with me.."  
"I don't know Sam, I'm tired and I have to catch up with some charts that Coop gave me this afternoon. Maybe you could come for a glass of wine like always."

Alex closed his eyes, trying not to listen to the couple but it was hard. And he didn't want to admit that he was a little happy for Addison saying no to that dude, because he cooked her dinner like he promised in the morning.

"See you later, Addison." The front door closed and Alex heard Addison going to kitchen. He wondered what she would think about the dinner already on the table.

"I thought that you and that dude were going to eat my dinner." Alex smirked when he felt Addison standing near him. He felt her rolling her eyes. So he simply smiled.

"How can you be such a sweet guy and the moment later an ass?"  
"It's a charm, Monty." He bite his lower lip because he was going to laugh.  
"Excuse me?"  
"Mh?"  
"How did you call me?"  
"Monty. Why? You don't like it?"  
"You can't call me like that." She sat near him. Alex could feel her small back pressing near his stomach.  
"Why not? We live together…"  
"I wouldn't go that far, Karev." He opened his eyes and he was without words. She looked so freaking tired.  
"You okay?"  
"Yeah..Hungry you know? Wanna eat here? We can go outside if you want."  
"I'd like to. C'mon. Monty." He grinned and tried to hide the thought that he was trying to annoy her only to see her smile a little.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

It has been a week since Alexander Michael Karev left Seattle and moved to Los Angeles. The only one person that he knew there was Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery and now he was sitting on her couch and reading some of her paperworks. He still was without a job, but read some medical stuff and journal was something that he really liked. If the paperworks were Addison's ones…well, it was perfect.

She was still at work, checking on a patient with Sam and Charlotte.

"Vitals are good. Maybe tomorrow she can go home." Addison said and then she left the patient room with Sam.

"You're hungry?" , he asked her, while they were heading to Sam's car.

"Starving, actually."

"Well, good. Me too." Sam started the engine. "Chinese?"

"Why not. I love Chinese." And then she asked out loud one of her bad ideas. "Do you wanna come to my place?"

"Are you sure? With that strange guy?"

"He's not strange." Addison replied a little angry. She cleared her voice, hoping that Sam hadn't notice it. "And he can eat with us. He's a good guy, Sam. He's alone. I told you what happened to him some months ago."

"You told me that he's married. That his wife almost died for cancer. Why he's here alone?"

"Something must be happened." She said worried. Alex didn't tell her about Izzie walking away from him.

"Addison, dinner at your place is good."

Xxx

"Karev? Do you want some Chinese?" Addison asked out loud and then walked into the living room, finding Alex sleeping only with his boxer. She swallowed, her face burning and then she covered him with a blanket.

"Goodnight, Alex." She whispered and the she went to the kitchen.

"He's sleep-" but she couldn't complete her sentence because Sam kissed her, hard, with passion. She kissed him back without thinking at first, but then she pulled away from him.

"We can't Sam." Addison whispered against Sam's lips. "Sam. We can't."

"You're scared, Addison. Naomi is not a problem."

"I'm not scared. How can you say that she's not a problem? Maybe she's your ex wife, but she's my best friend. I can't cheat on her." Tears began gathering in her eyes. Addison closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"I really want to, but we can't." She didn't hear Sam leave until he slammed the front door. At the same time she heard Alex groaning and she turn her back to him.

"Dude, what the hell happened? Wow, Chinese. I'm starving." He grabbed the food and began to eat without looking at anything besides his plate. He still was in his underwear.

"Addison?" he looked at her. She wasn't facing him.

"I'm sorry, I'm not feeling well. I'm tired, you know…being at St. Ambrose all day.." Addison was rambling now, and that was the same kind of rambling that she gave to him after he said to her that she wasn't her girlfriend.

"I'm going to sleep now. Goodnight, Karev."

He didn't reply. She didn't give him the time to do it. But the next morning she found her favorite breakfast – Addison told him random things about herself one night while they were on the beach – on her kitchen table ready to be eat.

Xxx

"Thank you for the breakfast this morning."

Addison and Alex were walking on the beach in front of Addie's house.

"Nah, that was nothing." He smirked with his bottle of beer against his lips. They were walking in silence, enjoying the sound of the waves.

"Do you miss Seattle?" Strangely, it was Alex the one who broke the silence between them.

"Sometimes. Do you?"

"No. I kinda hate that place."

"Karev…" Addison cleared her voice. She didn't like call him Karev in moment like this. "Alex." She tried again and he looked at her. In that moment he looked so fragile. In that moment he was Alex, and not the cocky Dr. Karev.

"Alex what happened in Seattle?" She needed to know.

Alex sighed. The beer in one hand, and his other one in the right pocket of his blue jeans.

"Izzie left me." He explained in a low voice. "Webber fired her. She thought that was my fault 'cause I had a conversation with the Chief. So she left me with a note and nothing else."

He decided to be clear with Addison. She deserved that after all she was doing for him.

"Please don't." He cut her off before she could even talk. "Don't say that you're sorry and all that crap. I already heard that."

"Don't worry. I wasn't going to."

"Liar." He smirked now. "You're a bad liar, Monty."

"You have to stop it. Stop call me Monty, Karev."

"What are you going to do if I don't stop?"

Addison said nothing, instead she took the bottle of beer from him and began to drink it. In that moment the only thing that her mind was saying was 'Don't think. You two need to have some time off from your crappy days.'

"Hey. That was my beer!"

"Really? I've paid this beer. Me. Not you, Karev."

"You are a bad drinker. Give me back the beer before I have to carry you home in my arms. And trust me, I'm tired and slightly drunk."

He tried to take the bottle from her, hugging her from behind, but when she tried to sneak out from his hug she fell on the sand. Alex fell as well, on top of her.

"Sorry." She said with a shy smile.

"Told ya that you are a bad drinker." Alex smirked and she stared at him with her eyes half closed. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't lie anymore. He still had feelings for her. She was the one who saw that he was a good guy. So he kissed her. Softly. And Addison kissed him back putting her hands on his cheeks. But when their tongues touched she pulled away, swallowing.

"I'm sorry Addison, I…"

"You're still married?"

"She left me."

"Yeah. But you still married, right?"

"Yes. But Addison.."

"I'm sorry, but I'm not Meredith Grey."

"You're better than her, Addison."

"I didn't know that I still feel something for you until I saw you. But in this week you saw how messed up my life is, Alex. I can't have other problems. I…I just..can't."

She tried to sneak out from his hug and he let her go. Most important, he was married, so he loved and maybe still was in love with Izzie Stevens. She didn't need another Karev's rejection. Another man rejection. But she couldn't do to another woman what Meredith and Derek did to her.

Alex was looking at her while she was going back to her house, but a light caught his eyes and he saw Sam looking at Addison.

"Fuck." He groaned angry.


	4. Chapter 4

Addison was working in her office, doing some charts. She avoided Sam and Alex for nothing more than two days. Then she couldn't hide anymore. Things with Alex were a little awkward. She admitted, that night, that she still felt something for him. And Alex…well, his kiss was pretty clear. Addison could tell that Alex was also pissed with her. She was avoiding him, like she did in the past after their first kiss. But she was worried and a part of her was afraid to let a door open for Alex. Yes, she was honest when she told him that she wasn't Meredith Grey, and Addison was trying to do the right thing, but she also was afraid to have another rejection. Another Alex' rejection.

"Spill." Naomi said and she took a seat in front of Addie.

"What?" Addison didn't look at Naomi, she kept focused on her work.

"You know, you so quiet but with this look on your face…like you're worried about something… You not talking with anyone. You not talking to me about this guy that it's at your home…"

"There's nothing to say about him." Now she was looking at Naomi, putting away her glasses.

"Oh come on, Adds. I know you. And Sam told me that you kissed him." Nae raised her eyebrows.

"He did what?"

"So is it true…" but Addison was already on her way to Sam's office, furious. "Now tell me why you were stalking me last night. And why you said about me kissing Karev on my beach!"

"Addison calm down, please."

"Don't Addison me."

"You don't want to be with me, but you kiss that kid!" Sam raised his voice to make Addison listen him. He didn't think that everybody were looking at them.

"He's not a kid, Sam. And I already told you why I don't wanna be with you. I can't cheat on my best friend."

"But it's okay cheat on that guy's wife, right Addison?"

"Cheating is your thing, am I wrong Addison?" This time it was from Naomi. Sam and Addison turned around to face her. Sam still angry and Addison guilty.

"Nae , I didn't do anything. You have to believe me. You know me."

"Yeah. I know you. You sleeping with your husband's best friend and now with your bestfriend's husband. I know you."

"Naomi, we didn't sleep together and we're not married anymore."

"You two. Unbelievable." Naomi shook her head and left the office slamming the door leaving Addison and Sam petrified. Addison looked over to Sam with her eyes full of tears and then, slowly she left the practice.

Xxx

Alex was heading to the bathroom while he heard Addison crying in her room. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to be with her. They kissed and then she avoided him. Again.

Alex shook his head and then he knocked on Addison's door. When she didn't answer he opened it anyway. She was curled up on her bed, hugging her pillow and crying quietly. This broke his heart. Seeing her like this. He couldn't hide anymore his feelings. It was pretty clear that he still loves her.

"What is it?" Alex asked softly, sitting near her. But she didn't reply. Instead she buried her face in the pillow.

"Addison? What is it?" He wasn't going to let this go, so he lay beside her . "Talk to me. What happened?" Addison didn't answer again but she let the pillow and hugged him, burying her face on Alex' chest. "Shhh…it's okay. It's okay, don't talk." Alex was caressing her back, slowly.

He did it. He calmed her down and now she was looking at him. Crying but not so badly like she was before. Addison put her thumbs on Alex' lower lip and stroked it slowly before kissing him hard.

Alex was caught off guard. He didn't see it coming and without think he kissed her back keeping her close to him.

"Please, Alex. Please." Addison breathed on his lips begging him to make her feel better. She wanted him so badly. And in that moment Alex knew that he was going to do everything she wanted. So he kissed her again, more slowly and deeply this time, drinking her.

Alex was now undressing her, leaving Addison completely naked in his arms. She pulled away from his lips and took off his shirt. She wanted to feel his skin against hers.

"Addison. Addison, are you sure about this?" he asked her when he felt her hands running down on his body and reaching his jeans. He was a little embarrassed for how much he was excited.

"Look at me. Addison. Look. At. Me." He demanded and when she met his eyes , Alex saw that she was lost and broken.

"I am." Addison know that it was a mistake in that moment. She wanted him, but it was so difficult for her to go past his words. His "You're not my girlfriend" still hurt her. But she was also tired to do the right thing. Now she wanted to enjoy what life has to offer her and in that moment was Alex. So, slowly, she took off his boxer and her panties, enjoying the feeling of her naked body touching his.

"Make me feel better, Alex." She sighed against his lips and guided him inside of her. Alex was surprised to feel how much she was ready to take him and the same was for her. Both of them moaned at the feeling of being that connected and Addison began to rock him. Alex and Addison knew that wasn't only sex, that was more, but they tried to not think about that. Especially when they came almost at the same time.

They didn't talk after. She was laying on top of him and Alex was hugging her with his eyes closed. Addison was watching him, stroking slowly his face and after a little he felt asleep.

Addison didn't sleep thought. She was thinking that they did a mistake. She felt like she was loved, and maybe that was the truth but she couldn't help it. She couldn't have another love disaster. After she was sure that Alex was sleeping she kissed once more and she went to the bathroom for a shower.

Xxx

_What we did was amazing. And I'm not resenting you, Alex. _

_I wasn't joking when I told you that my life is a mess._

_Yesterday I've lost all of my friends. They don't trust me anymore. And what I felt for you when we were together…that was the most beautiful time that I had in a while. And the last time that I felt it, you broke me. _

_I don't know what to do now. I'm just scared. I needed to leave this morning 'cause I was so scared to see the regret in your eyes. So scared to hear you rejecting me again._

_I didn't use you last night. I want that this is clear to you. But I don't trust anyone at the moment. _

_I'm not in Los Angeles. I'm in New York with my brother. You can stay as long as you want and when I come back we can talk. I just need to change air for a little._

_I hope that you can understand. _

_ Addison._

Xxx

He waited for her for two weeks.

No one knew when she was coming back.

Now he could really understand how she felt when he told her that she wasn't his girlfriend. Now he could really understand how much he hurt her. Now he could really understand that she wasn't going to erase that part of their story. Now he could really understand that she wasn't going to forgive him and move on from that day.

So he started to pack his things and booked a flight to Seattle.


	5. Chapter 5

It took her 2 more weeks to come back to her place. She needed to change air for a while because everything wasn't clear anymore. She was in love with Sam but because of this she lost her best friend. And Karev. Alex. Showed up from nowhere and kissed her. She couldn't lie to him and to herself. That kiss had awakened old feelings that she hoped that were forgotten.

Of course she was wrong. And in a moment of weakness she slept with him. It wasn't just sex and that scared the hell out of her. It was love and it was about time that she didn't feel like this. It was since she slept with him the first time. Something like two years ago. And she freaked out. She freaked out because she wanted him, she wanted again to feel loved and wanted, but he was still married and she wasn't able to have other messes in her life.

"I'm glad that you're back, Addie. How's Archer?" Pete broke the silence while he was driving her to her house.

"So far so good. He's still the same, of course. But I love stay with him, you know."

He simply nodded, looking at her before back to the road.

"Addison. There's something that you need to know." His tone was a serious one and that scared her. He stopped the car in front of her house. It was dark and she could see that there wasn't any light on.

"He's gone, Addison. He left two weeks ago." Pete handled her an envelope. She took it and opened it. Her bottom lip trembled when she recognized his handwriting.

"_Addison, _

_I needed to come back to Seattle. You told me that I could stay here but the truth is that I can't stay here if you're not here with me._

_I couldn't wait for you not knowing when you'll be back. I don't even know if you are coming back. And I already lived this. With Izzie. I don't want to live it again, I can't take it. And it is too much even for me. For a messed up like me._

_So I left. I like Los Angeles only because of you. _

_I know where you are, I don't know if you're happy, if you're hurt. I know nothing beside that you scared. And I know that you left me with a note. Like my ex-wife did. And I think that I deserve better. But I know what better is. And for me…is you._

_This is the second time that I speak with my heart and not with my rude manner. I just wanted to let you know that I get that my marriage scares the hell out of you, and you don't have to worry. I'm getting a divorce for sure. _

_Maybe telling you how much sorry I am for the past doesn't change things. Or maybe does. I just want to talk to you about this, with you in front of me and not like this. There are so many things that I have to explain to you. You really don't even know._

_I'm not angry. At least for now. I have to realize everything yet. I just know that this hurts like hell._

_I don't know if I want you to reply to this ramble, maybe I need time to forget that you left me with a letter not telling me with your voice that you were scared. Forgetting that another woman that I love ran away from me when things weren't easy. I'm scared too 'cause I don't even know where to go. 'cause I thought that I found you again._

_By the time you'll read this…I'm already gone, so don't go to the airport. I left this letter to the only one who speaks to me. That dude Pete._

_Be happy, Addison. When you're sad, I'm sad too. And it's quite clear why._

_I still love you, not matter what will happen, I'll always love you. I just…don't know if I'll wait for you._

_ Alex."_

"He's gone." Addison whispered swallowing her tears. She was reading Alex's letter all over again. Her eyes were glued to the words that he wrote.

"Nothing is worse than missing a chance that could change your life.." she whispered again.

"He still wanna talk, Adds. He didn't shut the door. And now you're back. It's time for you to make a choice."

Addison looked up and found Pete's eyes. She whipped her cheek and cleared her voice, waiting for him to go on with his thoughts.

"You can stay here, all puppy eyes for Sam, being hurt for Nae's behavior toward you. Or…you can get on a plane, land in Seattle and have a long talk with this Alex guy that you love."

"If you were me…what will you do?"

"Try everything I can with the one that I really want. You love Sam. And, believe me, I get it…but you don't love him like you love Alex. And Sam knows it. It's written all over your face."

"I'm the one who screwed up this time."

When Pete looked at her with curiosity in his eyes she explained what happened between Alex and her.

"I fell hard for him. He's a good guy. When Mark was treating me bad, he stood up for me, losing his opportunity to go to plastic. When he told me…I almost kissed him. And..one night I was alone at Joe's, drinking my scotch and he sat near me. We tried to talk..but we ended up kissing. I don't know why but I avoided him and when he had enough he dragged me in a supply closet. He told me that he wasn't interested in me. That he didn't want to be another intern sleeping with an attending. That he kissed me back because I was his boss.." She sighed, half closing her eyes.

"I tried to be professional with him. But when we had this Jane Doe patient.. I thought out loud about being alone. That if I was alone no one would have notice that I was missing. And he surprised me. He told me that he would notice. He gave me a little smile and walked away. And there I fell even more for him." She shook her head.

"We slept together. And God knows how perfect it was." Addison was with her eyes closed so she didn't notice that Pete was driving back to the airport.

"I never felt like that. I was in love with him like I was with Derek. But that day..later that day everything went to hell. I approached him while he was studying and I told him that I could have tested him." Her voice was shaking now, her bottom lip was trembling.

"He told me that what we did was amazing. And he told me that he was busy and that I wasn't his girlfriend. You can't believe how much this hurt me. I felt like I was a sex toy for him and nothing more. I felt use. I felt humiliated. Rejected. And…I couldn't believe it. So I left…and the next day I was here."

"He hurt you." Pete looked quickly over her and then back to the road again.

"He did. And now I hurt him back. Not wanting."

"You think he wanted?"

"I don't know. I hope not." She finally opened her eyes. "What..where ..Pete?"

"You're going to Seattle and I'm making sure that you're really going. I'm coming with you. Lucas is with Violet anyway."

"What..why?"

"I care about you. You're family. We want you happy, Addison. And Alex did make you happy. We saw it in these few days. So now we're going to Seattle, you two stubborn head are going to have a long talk and then I want to hear that you're back with him."

"What if if we are not meant to be together? Just look…it seems like isn't written in our life.."

"Maybe you are. Maybe it was only the time that wasn't friendly with you two. But if you don't try you'll never know. Just try, what else you can lose?"

"Nothing else…"

Xxx

"You're back!" Reed greeted him in surprise. "We thought that you have gone for good."

"I'm back…whatever, don't make a big deal about it."

Alex walked away not really in the mood to speak. But someone tiny and blonde grabbed him by the arm and throw him in a supply closet.

"Spill. Now." She said angry and threatening.

"What..What you wanna know?" He stammered and swallowed. He never saw Meredith so angry at him. But then he corrected himself when he remembered the day she throw him against the lockers.

"Tell me where the hell have you been, you ass!" she hissed through her teeth.

"Iowa."

"Bullshit! Izzie was looking for you and she did look for you in Iowa. You weren't there." Meredith gave him a yellow envelope. He opened it and saw the divorce paper. Izzie already signed it.

"Where the hell you have been?"

"Los Angeles. Okay? I was in Los Angeles."

"What, why?"

"Tried to be with the woman I love."

"Uh?"

"Addison."

"Wh—" Meredith choked and then coughed. "You love Addison? Since when?"

"I love her. I'm in love with her since Derek chose you. You..don't know how she was. I get to know her. Really know her. And I fell for her. I love Izzie. I just..don't love her like I love Addison. This is why I told her to go. I was tired to fight for someone that I didn't love so much and that she didn't love me back."

"Why are you here now?What happened?" it wasn't curiosity, but concern.

"I hurt her in the past and she's not able to forgive me. I can understand because now I feel like she felt when I rejected her 2 years ago. I never told anyone because..y'know. Izzie would have been 'What the heck you did…' and whatever…I didn't want that anyone knows also to not humiliate Addison even more..Y'know Sloan, Shep.." he shrugged.

"I'm sorry Alex."

"Yeah…me too. I have to go now.." he sighed and reached the door. He turned to Meredith and gave her a smile. "Thank you for listen."

"Don't say it."

"I have work to do. See ya." He winked at her and then walked toward the nurses' station. An old man asked him where he could find Chief Shepherd and he told him to ask to a nurse. Some minutes later he heard some noises. He walked to the hallway where these noises were coming from and he recognized Reed on the floor bleeding.

"Dude, what.." but Alex couldn't finish his sentence. That man shot him on his right side and he felt on the floor. Everything was dark now.


	6. Chapter 6

Alex tried to yell for help but no sounds came out from his mouth. He rolled on his sane side and crawling he reached the elevator. He took a look in front of him, Reed was on the floor. Dead. Her eyes open and a hole in her forehead. He couldn't tear off his eyes from her face. Painting heavily, Alex swallowed and the elevator doors closed, putting a wall between him and Reed. He looked at his hands and panicked when he saw his blood. He really thought that his time was come.

Xxx

"Here we are, Adds. You can do it. We walk inside, you'll find Alex and you'll talk with him." Pete got out from the cab, Addison did it too as well.

"Yeah, and he'll yell at me that he's not interested." She made a sarcastic face, walking toward the sliding doors. Pete rolled his eyes and she glared at him.

"C'mon, go inside." He pushed her to convince her.

"Going, going." They stepped inside the Seattle Grace. Addison didn't know where she could find Alex, so she reached the nurses' station and asked to a nurse.

"He was looking for Dr. Sloan." The nurse replied and Addison and Pete made their way to the elevator.

"Look what we have here!" She heard a familiar voice says and she turn around to see who he was.

"Mark Sloan. The man that I was looking for in this moment." Addison grinned but Mark raised an eyebrow. "The nurse told me that Karev was looking for you, do you know where is he?"

"Nope, I didn't see him today yet. And please, don't talk to me about that ass." Mark growled. The elevator arrived and the doors opened. They were about to enter when Addison almost slipped on something oily. She looked down and her heart stopped. Pete grabbed her before she could fell to the floor, but she shook him off to crouch down near Alex.

"Alex. Alex." Addison called him.

"A..Adds…He shot me.." Alex breathed. "He shot me.." he repeated again, grabbing her hand.

"I'm going to take a stretcher, wait here." Mark said but in that moment they heard other shots. The turned around to see who the gunman was, but Pete grabbed Mark and threw him inside the elevator. He then pushed one of the bottom and the door closed.

"I'm here, Alex." Addison whispered not caring to hide her tears. "Shh.. I'm here honey. I'm not leaving you." She stroked his hair not able to do something more. She wasn't even able to think.

"We have to move fast." Mark crouched down near Addison and took a good look to Alex's injuries.

"It hurts. Addison it hurts." Alex breathed looking into her eyes.

"I know honey. We're going to take care of you. I promise."

"It hurts that you left me."

"A..Alex." she swallowed some of her tears. "I'm sorry Alex. I really am. It's my fault if you're here now." She kissed his forehead. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be ridiculous, Addison." Pete said before step out from the elevator when they reached the floor. He took a stretcher and with Mark they raised Alex and carefully placed him on it. The hospital was in chaos. They saw other doctors on the floor, dead.

"The OR is here." Mark guided them and without wasting time they went inside.

"Addison. Don't leave me again." Alex said without leave her hand. "Don't leave me."

"I'm not going anywhere Alex. I'm right here with you." She couldn't do anything, so she sat down near him and let Mark and Pete save Alex's life.

"There's no exit hole." Mark murmured. "And we don't have any anesthesia."

"Just save me." Alex snarled unable to stand the pain. "Dude, just save me." He breathed in a state of unconsciousness.

"We'll do our best, Karev."

"Sloan. Don't kill me." No one knew how he managed to do his cocky smirk, but Addie let out an hysterical and relieved laugh.

"Don't worry, I won't. I would have Satan kicking my ass if I kill you." Mark smirked too and began to operate on him. Alex couldn't stand it. His pain was increasing rapidly. He was screaming and Addison was trying to help him keeping him relaxed but she knew that was vain.

"Make him stop screaming Addison." Pete yell at her when he saw that she was pale and petrified. She wasn't able to see Alex in so much pain. She was feeling sick. The smell of blood made her sick. She swallowed and breathed a shaky breath.

"Alex. Alex don't scream. Please, babe. Don't scream." She whispered near his ear but Alex couldn't stop.

"ADDISON." Pete snapped at her and she grabbed some gauze.

"I'm sorry Alex. I'm so sorry." She swallowed again, her eyes full of tears, and put the gauze in Alex's mouth. He looked at her almost begging her not to do it. He was begging her to make the pain come to an end.

"We're almost done." Mark said after something like an hour, but Addison wasn't so sure how much time passed exactly.

"They're done. You're alive, Alex. Alex. Look at me." She stroked his hair slowly and he looked her. Addison removed the gauze from his mouth and he was breathing heavily and shakily.

"I'm sorry, Addison."

"Shh don't talk."

"I'm sorry for what I did to you in the past. I'm sorry that I hurt you so much."

"Alex, don't. Please. Don't." More tears were coming down from her eyes now.

"I have to. If I die.."

"You're not going to die, Karev." Alex was surprised to hear how bossy she managed to be in that moment. But then he realized that she was Addison Montgomery so his surprise vaporized.

"I'm sorry that I pushed you away."

"Alex. Stop it. Not now, really." She cut him off with a kiss. They closed their eyes and kissed slowly. When Addison pulled away from him he was still with his eyes closed, unconscious tough.

"Alex. Alex wake up." She shook him a little. "Alex." Addison raised her voice and the door swung open. Other doctors stepped inside and helped Mark and Pete with Alex, getting him ready to leave the hospital.

Addison could only watch with her heart beating fast, slamming against her ribcage.

Xxx

Alex remained unconscious for the whole night and the next morning. Addison was by his side with her hand interviewed with his. He slowly woke up and he saw Addison on the chair, looking at their hands and slowly caressing his. He squizzed her hand to let her know that he was awake.

"Hey." Addison looked up at him, smiling faintly.

"Hey." He smiled back and tried to move but he made a noise feeling a sharp pain through his body.

"Don't move Alex." She rose from the chair and sat on his bed. "How are you feeling?" she stroke his cheek slowly.

"Better." He nodded. "Lay down with me." He moved only to make some room for her on the bed.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, please." He smiled tired and she lay down hugging him.

"You came here. For me."

"I did." She looked at him smiling.

"I really am sorry for every bad thing that I said to you in the past."

"You hurt me." She said quietly resting her cheek on his chest. Alex was slowly rubbing her back.

"I know. And I chose wrong."

"You wanted Ava."

"I wanted you. You told me that you hated me. So I went to someone that wanted me even if I didn't want her. When I reached the hospital she was gone and I felt relieved. When I came back to the church you weren't there anymore. Shep told me that you left for good. I felt lost." Alex closed his eyes and kissed the top of her head.

"And all that you said to me before?" she dared to ask.

"I'm not a good guy. I would have screwed up worse than I did. You were looking for the perfect guy. One who does barbeque and teach his kids how to play catch." He shook his head. "I don't even know how a family is."

"Alex." She kissed him trying to make him feel better. "Don't push me away again."

"I won't. I love you Addison. I always loved you." Alex pecked her lips. "I'm so glad that you're back."

"Honey, I love you too." She felt her heart burn. Now he was awake and he could hear it properly. "You'll stay at my hotel room when you can leave the hospital. I'll take care of you."

"What about your work?"

"It doesn't matter now. The only one that matter is you. I want to take care of you. Let me take care of you, Alex."

"I'm not so stupid to say no." he smirked and laughed but suddenly coughed for the pain.

"Shh, Alex. Breath." Addison helped him to calm down and he closed his eyes.

"I'm tired." He said with a tired voice.

"Sleep. I'm here with you." Alex stared at her for a moment and then smiled capturing her lips for a suffocating kiss. They pulled away breathing heavily and he kissed her once more.

"I love you, Addison. I really do."

"I love you too, Alex." She kissed the tip of his nose, smiling. "Sleep now, you look tired."

"You too."

"I look beautiful."

"You do." He laughed softly and then he closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep.

"I'll take care of you, I promise." She whispered closing her eyes too.

Xxx

It passed a week since he got shot. He was sleeping on Addison's hotel room bed. He was waking up and reached near him to feel her, but she wasn't there. Alex opened his eyes and looked around the room. His eyes stopped when he found her. Addison was on the couch, only in a towel, her red hair wet from the shower.

"Hey. Good morning." Addison said smiling and went to her bed, sitting down near him.

"Good morning to you too." Alex smiled too and put her down for a kiss. "What's planned for today?"

"Rest. Only rest. Enjoy it." She smirked and the kissed him again. He pouted. "Oh don't do that puppy eyes with me." Addison grumbled.

"I don't want to rest." Alex smirked and took off her towel leaving her naked. She looked at him in shock.

"What?" he asked her innocently. "The doctor didn't clear me for this?" Alex grinned when she swallowed. He pulled her down for another kiss and she moved on top of him pushing the sheets aside.

"Are you sure, Alex?" she whispered against her lips.

"You couldn't imagine how much I want you."

"Oh…I think that I can." She laughed feeling his erection with her hand. She began to stroke him slowly making him more ready for her. Alex half closed his eyes, breathing heavily.

"Don't tease me." He said in a rough and sexy voice, but she simply grinned and quickly she took him in her mouth leaving him with his mouth open and without words.

"Oh fuck." He breathed, enjoying the sensations that her mouth was giving him. "Addison. Addison stop. I…I can't stand it.." In fact he didn't understand how he managed to resist.

"What do you want?" she breathed on him while she was looking at him. Alex almost died when he looked at her.

"You."

"I'm here, babe." She moved on his body and kissed him, slowly taking him inside of her. They both left a moan at the sensation and then Addison began to move. Slowly at her first. They stared at each other, pecking their lips during their movements.

"Fast, Adds."Alex licked her lips and she speed up her tempo, feeling more hot and more wet. "Yes, like this.."

"I almost there.." she whispered biting his bottom lips softly and her body began to massaging him. That was enough for Alex. He couldn't stand it anymore and he came buried in her. Addison threw her head back, riding him more fast until she massaged him more rapidly, shivering for her climax.

Addison collapsed on top of him. They both were exhausted. Alex kissed her sweetly and softly.

"You okay?" she whispered.

"Perfect. Perfect." Alex nodded with a smile. "Dr. Montgomery, if this is how you take care of me. Well, put me on bed rest for like…" he pretended to think about it. "like forever." He grinned and Addison giggled.

"Whatever you want Dr. Karev." She kissed him with an evil smirk.


End file.
